VIRUS–NO SCHOOL–LIVING BACK HOME–oh my!
Last week was one of the best and worst weeks for me as a coach. I have been coaching for over 9 years, but this was the first time I really, really worried for every one of my clients. During the last year I have been busier than ever with clients and I am very fortunate to do what I do. I absolutely love all of my clients.
Let me rewind a little bit. Last week actually started off in the best way possible, with amazing compliments from my clients. I was smiling all week at all the amazing successes that my clients are having. Seeing my college student and adult clients so proud of themselves make me so happy. These are a few of the things that I heard….
“It was a difficult week, but I did it! Thank you so much for all of your guidance. The accommodations that I got in college, with your advice, have helped me so much. I wish I did it sooner!”
“OMG I called my mom and said ‘mom, I got a 80- on my biology test!’ I have NEVER gotten higher than a 65 in any science class since middle school. I am soooo happy!”
“My overall grades for the semester are a B – I am really happy. Thank you for all of your help this semester.”
“I went to an interview and did what you said and handed my interviewer my printed resume in an envelope. The gentleman interviewing me was so impressed…and he turned out to be the president of the company. I think I got the job!”
“So how was your first coaching session, on a scale from 1 to 10?” “Wow! I had no idea how coaching could help. A 10!”
“I feel amazing right now. I have completely and entirely finished my homework and projects. Thank you so much for helping me”
I will never forget the first call I got from my client who studies mechanical engineering at a major college in the Midwest. He said “it is panic here. No one knows what to do. We have to pack up and move out by the end of the week. This is so terrible. I was doing so well. I was all caught up on school, I was working out at the gym and eating healthy. I just took three midterms and did really well. I love being at school. How are we going to do our lab work?”
“School is closed until the end of the semester. Everyone has to pack up and move by Wednesday. So many of our friends are graduating this year and they will not have a graduation. We just held a “mock” graduation ceremony for them in the woods near school. It is so sad. I don’t know when I will see my friends again.”
“Wow, we have to all go home and I don’t know when we will be back. What about my summer internship? I wonder if it is still on. How am I going to create 3D models from home? " and another...
“All students have to go home. I don’t want to leave my car here and I don’t want to go on an airplane, so I am driving home” (He is driving home alone, a 30-hour drive)
And on and on. My heart is breaking with worry.
- How will they do with online courses?
- How will they be taking care of their health, body and fitness?
- How will their ADHD symptoms affect them?
As you probably know, typical ADHD challenges are magnified in times of high anxiety. But the way we have to live in the near future will have many challenges!
- Relationships with parents (who are super stressed and might get sick)
- Keeping up with your routines
- Getting and taking the medication you need – every day
- Doing your homework and assignments
- Not becoming reclusive in your house
- Being able to manage time and online school work
- Staying close to friends via FaceTime, Zoom or other
- Worrying about family and friends, causing more anxiety
- Dealing with the CHANGE/transitions from situation to situation can take time.
So, here are some of my tips for my current clients, their families and anyone else who needs support at this time.
First, everyone needs to take care of their health! Physical and mental!
- No more physical contact with anyone, please.
- Young people might NOT get sick from this virus, but they can still spread it to others who cannot handle the flu as well.
- Please think about others…not just yourself. YOU will be fine!!! But the people you (unknowingly) infect, will not be able to fight off the symptoms as well as you can.
- Please get outside and take a walk or run to stay healthy and keep your mind clear.
- Be safe…do not do ANYTHING that might cause an injury! Hospitals are overcrowded now… and that will be the LAST place that you want to be. So, think about taking a break at the skateboard park!
- Do NOT go to the GYM anymore…it is all germs! Check out all the great workout videos on YouTube... or have a "who can hold a plank the longest" contest.
- Dance! Yes DANCE! Put on a headset and blast the music that gets you to MOVE! Does anyone still have a Wii? Dance Dance Revolution? Xbox One? Tell me! Have "virtual" contests with your friends Other ideas are doing jumping jacks, burpees, sit-ups, push-ups, dance-off. This is a great time to hang up all the clothes that are on your stationary bike.
Students: Here are some other tips for you to feel better and be productive at home!
- Only watch the news for an hour in the morning and an hour at night.
- Plan at least 1 entire hour where the whole family turns off all electronics and each person just reads a book or draws…not with a device. Try it! Set a timer!
- Use your planner/agenda and plan out your homework and projects you can do at home! I will share ideas in the next BLOG.
- Have a regular routine as much as you can. Wake up time, school work time, virtual friend time, Netflix time, etc.
- Do not plan to get together with your friends for a while - maybe you can do a group chat!
- Limit gaming, computers, TV…
- Learn meditation or mindfulness. (future blog)
- Get your whole family on the same program, if you can.
- Do not make fun of ANYONE who is nervous or concerned right now. The worst thing you can do is tell someone their feelings of fear or concern are not real. They are real. We all have a different level of comfort…please respect it. Do NOT say “you are overreacting”!!!
I heard that during terrible earthquakes in Los Angeles
I heard that watching the buildings burning on 9/11
I heard that as 4 feet of water were coming down my street during Hurricane Sandy in Long Beach, NY
I hear it now… we are NOT overreacting….we are just reacting!
- Know that your kids are freaking out by being home and missing their friends and worrying about school. - Take the advice that I offered for the kids... do a jigsaw puzzle, draw in coloring books, listen to calm sounds, write in a journal, clean out a closet, or music with a great beat.
- Please do not be too bossy or controlling. Let your college students come up with their own plan of action. Let them know that you are confident in them and that they can do it. This will not be easy. Not only are they uprooted from their normal schedule, and they had to say goodbye to all of their friends very quickly (if they could at all) but NOW they have to figure out of to do well in their classes, online! It will be a mess at first. (I can help!)
- Give lots and lots of love and support to your kids. They will not be able to handle all of this alone or handle it like "a mature adult". But, they need to know that YOU love them and YOU trust them and you are there for them.
- Some kids will feel trauma (similar to how you felt on 9/11)…and they will need tons and tons of love, hugs and joy
- Please stop all physical engagement with other people - no playdates!
- Yes, there are unknowns and things will change. We don’t know what will happen with … internships, accommodations, travel plans, graduation plans, grades, projects, etc.
- You will feel cabin fever. It will be hard….This is the time to be diligent…and remember the bigger picture.
- One person can infect 10 people… children can carry the virus without symptoms… and you need to remember that young people can infect people who are at risk (people with immune issues, older, etc.)
- This is not about panic…we all feel stressed...but parents, you will be the role model for your kids. And... like 9/11, what helps during terrible times is a sense of humor, family, physical connections, smiles, water, walking, breathing and writing!
- This germ, flu, bug, illness will not go away quickly...it might come back, so do not let your guard down.
- And take care of yourself. Hope this passes or we find a cure or vaccine as soon as they can.
Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions. You can e-mail me at info@LMRCoaching.com. If you would like to set up a phone call, please set up a time using my online booking system. Go to www.LMRCoaching.com/book-online.